1.Where's Your Mommy？
Go to sleep little baby
Before the boogie man gets you
When you'll awake,
We'll pat a little cake
And ride the pretty little pony...
(spoken)
Shhh...uhuhuh...
It's OK
Ahhh...You so cute...you little wookie wookie wookie wookie
Was it my singin？？？
You look so much like your daddy
Ha ha
Who's your daddy？
No I'm just kiddin'
I love you so very much
You want..
Uh come here to me...
OOOH...
(sniffs)
Shooo...I think it's time for you to change your little bitty
diaper
That little boogie boogie boogie boogie boogie
I love you so much...but I wish you would just quit crying.
Well I'm sittin here rockin our cute little baby
Tell me why you just won't stop cryin'
My little souvenir from Dollywood last Valentine's
Yeah I burped you twice sounded good
Did everything a father should
Read Barney and nursery rhymes
I guess your momma needs a girls night out every once in a while
I put on a brand new diaper baby
Huh huh don't you wet it
Everything was going just fine
Till's you threw up on me when I fed ya
Where's your mommy
I'm going crazy
Call up a buddy
I need a friend
Cause I'm a new dad
Who don't know what to do
When a tummy starts to rumblin
Your diaper's droopin'
You won't stop poopin'
Now I have stood all I can stand
Where's your mommy little baby
You've got a dummy for a dad...
(spoken)
Shhh come on what's wrong with you
Your tummy tummy tummy hurt you
Little pookie pookie pookie pookie
Quit cryin' please...
Well...you're still up past your bedtime baby
Huh huh...ain't cha...Now I've about had it
I never knew what your momma went through
But I do now and I know
UH
I'm no good at it
Where's your mommy
I'm going crazy
How'd you get muddy？
Where have you been？
It's that dang doggie door
That you keep crawlin through
I'll have to nail that thing shut again
You sure are screamin'
You must be teethin
I want your bottle
I burned my hand
Where's your mommy little baby
You've got a dummy for a dad...
Here comes your mommy little baby
And your daddy sure is glad...
2.I Was Country When Country Wasn't Pop
I remember hearing LeAnn Rimes
When she sang blue what sounded like Patsy Cline
And I remember that Oo SheDaisy
But don't they sound a lot like Destiny's Child
Now Michael Bolton's on the Opry
And they've turned me down again
And man that really hurts me a lot
Cause I was country when country wasn't pop
I remember 'He Stopped Loving Her Today'
Back when radio would play George Jones
You never hear Family Tradition
Or all of those killer songs Bocephus wrote
And I ain't heard twin fiddlin' since I don't know when
Now it's more like Britney Spears than it is Loretter Lynn
I was country when country wasn't pop
Yeah I was country when country wasn't pop
Yeah I was country way before Kid Rock
Now every act sounds the same
This crossin over's got to stop
Yeah...I was country when country wasn't pop
Well they sound like Smashing Pupmkins
In a pair of cowboy boots
They's about as country as Huey Lewis and the News
I was country when country wasn't pop
Yeah...I was country when country when country wasn't pop
I was country and I'm still proud of David Baugh
It's a shame
Shania Twain
Is mixin Rock and roll and funky hip hop
'Cause I was country when country wasn't pop
Here...I was country when Barbara Mandrell was really hot
3.My Crowd
There's a big old line down at the TicketMaster
I admit it it's a sight I'd love to see
A few of them look like they need a shower
But they're holding signs saying 'I love Cledus T.'
If it wasn't for them I'd be right in the poor house
Country music fans are the best around
Them's my crowd
(Na na na na na)
Yeah them is my crowd
(Na na na na na)
Hey
Sell the farm
Sell the bread
All their necks are a little red
They love Hank
They love Hag
They've been known to wave the flag
They're always up gettin down
They get riled if they get loud
Them is my crowd
(Na na na na na)
Hey...you're with my crowd
(Na na na na na)
My Crowd
There's a lot of drinkin beer
When they fire up the grill
They'll line up at the port-a-Johns real soon
If you ask me there ain't nothing louder
Than a country music concert coming through
Come tomorrow morning out in the parking lot
There'll be fifty thousand beer cans on the ground
And them's my crowd
(Na na na na na)
Yeah
This is my crowd
(Na na na na na)
Overworked
Underpaid
They all work more than minimum wage
When Earnhardt died
They all was sad
Gun control makes them fightin' mad
Pop a top pass it around
Turn it up then chuck it down
This is my crowd
(Na na na na na)
Yeah...you're with my crowd
(Na na na na na)
My crowd
(Chant)
CleDUS (8 times)
Well I hope I bought you all a lot of laughter
I'm gonna miss ya
You made me feel like a big star
My tour bus will hit the road in a couple of hours
And fans like you make leaving really hard
We'll do another big show come tomorrow night
But you are hard to beat I'm telling you right now
And maybe later old T. Judd will take one of you cowgirls
Back to my house
(Na na na na na)
Yeah
You're with my Crowd
(Na na na na na)
Hey
You yell some more
Some hell was raised
Y'all be hung over for days
You got to hear some real hot bands
And got to meet some real cool fans
We raised the roof and burned it down
And see y'all next time around
Y'all with my crowd
(Na na na na na)
Yeah this is my crowd
(Na na na na na)
My crowd
4.270 Somethin'
Wooo
(spoken)
You know a man does have to eat him somethin'
I love candy bars...eat them all the time
My combo meal's are super-sized
And I crave the stuff they put inside those dang ding dongs
mmmm
My cholesterol is off the chart
I keep a blood pressure cuff on my left arm
Doctor says that my poor heart won't last too long
My nickname in school was double wide
Cause my momma fried...
Now I weigh 270 somethin'
Always huffin and puffin
Lay around the house all day
No wonder I can't lose no weight
See that pizza on the TV
Oh man don't it look cheesy
You know they deliver here for nothin'
That's why I weigh 270 somethin'
My insurance said that they'd co-pay
I made the same appointment Carnie Wilson made
Plastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles off
He stapled and sucked stuff through a tube
I lost a hundred pounds in one afternoon
When I came to in the recovery room
Wuddn't much left of me
When he removed the bandages from my thighs
I couldn't believe my eyes
Now I weigh 180 somethin'
Didn't have to do much of nothin'
I'm lookin' like Jean Claude Van Damme
To fit in a pair Mark Wills' pants
Now everyone who sees me
Can't believe that I'm so skinny
My body fat is nearly nothin'
Ha ha
Now that I weigh 180 somethin'
WOOO
Ha Ha
Now I date a model with a GED
But do you think she'd be with me
I wonder (I wonder)
If I (If I)
Still weighed...270 somethin'
Stuffin down blueberry muffins
Onion rings and cans of SPAM
That's how I got so fat
Now everyone who sees me
Can't believe that I'm so skinny
I used to break a sweat just doin' nothin'
Back when I weighed 270 somethin'
Now I weigh 180 somethin'
(spoken)
Ah...well it's probably like more like around 225-26
None of y'all's business how much I weigh
Huh huh...
5.Riding With Inmate Jerome
I was just out of the rehab rolling through the neighborhood
When I came across this homeboy
Said he'd fix me up real good
He led me down an alley
And right through a chain link fence
I had a hundred dollars I could spend
It was parked out in the driveway at a house of ill-repute
And in the back seat hung a double breasted lime green suit
What that homeboy showed me nearly caused a heart attack
For what he called a hooptie was a sky blue Cadillac
And I felt a little nervous as I drove out of the hood
But I loved that furry steering wheel
And that dashboard made of wood
I opened up the mini bar and in there I found a note
The stationery said County Jail and this is what he wrote
He said my (missaint？？？) is inmate Leroy Jerome
And if youse readin this judge says I isn't coming home
Though I am incarcerated I'll make a deal with you
If you can keep my gals in line this car belongs to you
Now ride low
And drive slow
And make her yours own
You'll always be riding with Inmate Jerome
The grill on the radiator was gold and shiny bright
And I'd tell you those old curb feelers were handy late at night
I get the feeling sometimes if I turn real quick I'd see
A gold-toothed cat daddy in the seat right next to me
One night I was hoppin and when I heard the breaking glass
And I can still remember the sounds of bullets whizzin' past
Someone said they saw a man in a fur coat and fur hat
Push me out of the motorcar and take his Caddy back
It was a young man named inmate Leroy Jerome
He's out of the joint the parole board sent him home
Yes he was incarcerated...but he cut a deal or two
Now he's got a brand new pinky ring and new Bruno Malli shoes
Hey I think I caught a whiff of Michael Jordan's splash cologne
I sho nuff of riding with inmate Jerome
6.New Car
(spoken)
Come on you no good worthless piece of foreign...
(BEEP)
Wait till I get me a royalty check
I'm gonna buy me an American made car
Piece of junk
People always shout obscenities
When I stall in their lane
They're all convinced when they see me driving this heap that
I'm insane
But seat belted in
I push the gas down fearlessly
Breaks stop working then
I watch the engine overheat
I need a new car
I can't ever get far
This one breaks down on me all the time
It's got four bald tires
And it always backfires
And I'm sick of that check engine light
I need a new car
I replaced all the cables and hoses
Had grease all over my face
For a couple weekends I had parts thrown all over the place
I put it back together fast
But now it's even worse
Now my friends just laugh
Cause it only goes in reverse
I need a new car
Getting to work's hard
When you have to drive backwards all the time
I'd find a junkyard and I'd sell it for parts
But I know they won't give me a dime
I need a new car
I won't repair anymore
Now the dang transmission's about to fall out
The only thought that's on my brain is the new car
I could be driving now
Rumor is they're having a sale over at the push pull or drag car
lot
If I can get this towed down there I swear I'll take anything
they've got
So with a credit line of $20,000 plus
No interest or money down and no more taking the bus
I got a new car
Looking like a big star
I don't care if the price is too high
It's got a VCR cruise control and Onstar
So I know where I'm at all the time
I got a new car
He got a new car
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